Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Forgiveness flowers...


The day the Lord created hope
was probably the same day he created Spring.
-Bern Williams


There's something about this season that always gets me.
It seems that everything I see
everything I smell
everything around me

is calling me.
is teaching me.
is reminding me.

Last week I definitely had a meltdown.
After a morning of trying to clean up the flowerbeds,
plant the garden, hang all our bedding on the clothesline,
clean up breakfast, make a hot lunch, sort calves for shipping,
and take care of the kiddos I ended up in a
puddle of tears at the kitchen sink.

When dear farmer husband came in
to find frazzled wife scrubbing dishes like
they needed some form of corporal punishment
it all came undone.

"Is everything okay?" he asks tentatively.
"No." is the very terse response.
"What's the matter?"
"Everything."
"Can I help you...?"
(At this point, a simple 'yes' would have been a good
response, and an acknowledgement of husband's kind
heart, but I was too wrapped up in my own self-pity,
so the conversation continued...)
"With what?" I cooly reply
"Well," he hesitates, "what needs to get done?"
And I look him directly in the eye and say
"Everything."
"Can you be more specific?" he asks.
And I reply, "E-VER-Y-THING!"

What followed was sweet husband suggesting that I not overdo
it, and just let some things go and focus on one thing at a time.
I'm embarrassed to admit that my reaction to this wise suggestion
was 'that the last time I checked the cleaning/cooking/ choring/childcare
fairy did not reside at our house, and if I didn't do it, it wouldn't get done.'
Or something like that. Said unkindly.

Definitely frustrated, husband retreated to the safety of the
barn while I was left behind to stew. I continued my attack
on the poor, defenseless kitchen and came to the old milk bottle full
of daffodils I cut from the garden that morning. As I rinsed and
trimmed their stems in the sink, my anger and aggravation
seemed to wash away as quickly as the dirt down the drain.

You see, daffodils remind me of my Opa.
He died in the spring two years ago and the return of
this season is always flooded with memories of him.
And as he was quickly overtaken by cancer we watched him,
a hard working, physically strong and industrious Dutchman,
fading away, his body weakened to the point of being bed-ridden,
but his spirit was full of love, joy and thanksgiving.


I was immediately stricken by my ungrateful heart.
I had just spent a morning working with my husband, digging in
the dirt on a glorious sunny spring day while our children
played - laughing, running, enjoying every moment - at our side.
My dream since I was a little girl.
And I was complaining.

I saw Peter come driving up the driveway, and I knew
I had been awful to him. I quickly went to apologize,
but before the words were even out of my mouth
a bouquet of daisies, my favorites, were placed in my hands.

Forgiveness offered, even before the offense was admitted.

That is love.


Opa's daffodils on Oma's crocheted doily.

A thankful heart, even in trying situations.

Receiving His love.


And these tulips, which sprung up with no doing of my own,
but because of the thought, care, and effort of
someone who came before me.
It made me think, what seeds am I planting in the lives of
others? What will be reaped, because of what I've sown?

Sharing His love.

I'm so glad each day is a new, fresh start.
Let's try again, shall we?

May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight, O LORD,
my Rock and my Redeemer.
~Psalm 19:14~

What seeds are you planting these days?

May God's grace be with you as you seek after Him!
And enjoy the spring flowers :)



5 comments:

  1. Angela, your story telling and picture sharing is always so powerful. You always seem to capture fragments of frustrations that most of us struggle with in our day to day lives. But then you apply and therefore teach the rest of us, how God's work in our lives, gives us the power and freedom to live life to its fullest. I love you and feel blessed to be your mother.

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  2. What a wonderful story - thank you for sharing. It happens to all of us, we get caught up in what we are doing, and what needs to be done, and forget to be thankful for what we are able to do. Thank you for the reminder of how precious life is and how important the small things are.

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  3. Beautifully written! I was just thinking about how one could really go to bed with her kids and probably still not get enough sleep to face the next day. WOW! To think this happens to more than just me. Thanks for sharing!

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  4. I laughed and I cried Angela. Boy you know how to bring the emotions out in me. Your words are humbling and I thank you for them.

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  5. Angela,
    What a wonderful testimony to 'grace' in the midst of life's busyness!
    You have a writing gift!
    It was lovely to see you at the library today!
    Thanks for sharing!
    Joanne

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