Thursday, May 9, 2013

Like dust...

Springtime on the farm is completely crazy wonderful. That could be two separate sentences - because these days are completely crazy and these days are completely wonderful. I can't even keep track of who is where and doing what. Did Pete say he was in the back field packing or was that Uncle Garry? And Pete's over at Dad's cultivating? Will Dad be back for chores or is he going to keep planting? The air seeder's coming at what time? Will you be in for lunch or should I just keep a plate warm for you? These days of coming and going, here and there, everyone doing ten jobs at once - it keeps me on my toes and, at moments, tests my sanity. But, really, I couldn't imagine not doing this. This season on the farm - full of hope and anticipation, watching new life unfurl before our very eyes, smelling the earth waking up after so many months of slumber, the constant drone of tractors in the background as we go about our day's work. The guys, with a permanent, fine layer of dirt covering their skin, their clothes; their being. Because this is what we are, dust.

And as we plan and prepare for this year's crops - the food that will feed our animals and provide our living - it seems overwhelming. So many factors are beyond the realm of our influence, and yet I check the weather forecast obsessively wondering how I should be spending my time. Trying to plan a week that is completely out of my control. I race through supper with the kids and out to the barn so I can help with chores so Dad and Uncle Garry can keep going in the fields. As I hurriedly cross the yard, running late because of a last minute diaper change for Katie, I feel the first drops splash my face. The rain falls softly, just enough to settle the dust and bring the guys in. A pocket of unexpected free time. Do I fold the loads of laundry that have been pulled of the line in haste and dumped in a pile on the kitchen table or tackle the layer of dirt, grass, straw and sand on the floor that has been growing despite my best efforts? Maybe I'll round up the kids and scrub off the layer of grime they've been accumulating as they've been busy re-discovering the sights, smells and feel of the world outside. Afters baths, I snuggle their freshly clean bodies, kissed by the sun with rosy cheeks and a sprinkling of freckles across noses, tight against me and soak up their sweetness. Tired after a hard day of play they lean into me and listen to their stories with heavy eyelids. Prayers, kisses, His blessing sung over them, I slip down the stairs to a quiet kitchen. Without words, counters of dirty dishes and small mounds of unfolded laundry call to me as I step across the sticky, dirty wood floor. At the end of the day I fall into bed completely exhausted. And, yet, I can't wait to do it again tomorrow. Because these days are filled with moments;
    a handful of dandelions picked just for me;

 
   a quick coffee out on the porch;

 
   a stolen kiss in the parlor;


    kids biking, climbing, running, bouncing, digging, playing, laughing all day long;

 
   our littlest discovering all this for the first time.

These moments are more precious than anything I could ever want. And I know that these moments are like the dust that's swirling in the fields. The dust that permeates our lives right now. The dust that reminds me how fleeting this all is. 
And that's why, even when I'm feeling overwhelmed, incapable of the tasks that lay before me and just plain-out tired, I will consider it joy. Because these days?
They are fleeting
and they are overflowing with gifts.
“Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days;  let me know how fleeting my life is.  You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure. Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom; in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth without knowing whose it will finally be.
But now, Lord, what do I look for?  My hope is in you." - Psalm 39:4-7

8 comments:

  1. Ange!!! These pictures are beautiful and you're thoughts are even more lovely. So thankful for you reflects and the pictures that make me miss home, but feel like I still know what's going on. Love you <3
    *the picture of you and Pete is adorable, you should get a big print of it for your room

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    1. Not sure how I feel about bringing the barn into the bedroom? Don't get me wrong, the barn has a special place in my heart...but in our bedroom? I don't know... LOL!! Love you, sister! Glad the pics let you vicariously stay a farm girl :)

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  2. Well said Ange! Brings a tear to my eye to be reminded of the beauty in the chaos. Thanks for reorienting my heart to God's gifts around me and not the overwhelming work that surrounds these gifts :) Because honestly I wouldn't want to be any other place! Grace VA

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    1. Ah, Grace! Such a soul sister you are. Praying you continue to feel His assurance that you are right.where.you're.supposed.to.be - and seeing the gifts (even within the challenges) that come along with that! Hugs from across the miles!

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  3. I have to agree with Michelle - lovely pictures and lovely thoughts. Thanks.
    I also love the picture of you and Pete. It's very cute. :)
    The one of John captures him so well. Makes me miss home.

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    1. Pete is very patient when it comes to my sudden whims (even if it means stopping in the middle of spraying down the parlour to take a 'kissy' picture with me)! I'm so thankful for that Farmer Husband of mine :) There's something about springtime on the farm, isn't there? I'm sure the farm girl in your heart will always pull towards home during this time of year. And know that just as you are missing home - you are missed here as well! Love you, girly! xo

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  4. Ange...you are one wise woman and a beautiful writer to boot. What a wonderful post and a beautiful reflection of your heart. How precious are our days and so sad when we get so busy we barely notice them. Thanks for prompting us to slow down...and savour the sweet moments~ x

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    1. Thanks for your sweet words, Glynis. Praying you're finding many precious moments in your days - and the time to savour them too! I'm finding myself needing this reminder again today...even in the midst of disappointment, frustration and heartache there is always, always, always something to be thankful for! ((HUGS))

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